Welcome to Chez Cliff!

Nearly 20 potential buyers have come out and seen the houses.  A few couples who viewed the houses really really liked it but all commented they would have to live in the small back house and rent out the front house.  Similar to what I’m doing now.  No offers.  Not even a low-ball offer.

It seems the market right now is being surged with people looking for “the best deal”.  Mostly either bank-repos or real fixer-uppers.

In speaking with the Real Estate Agent, we’re going to pull the houses off the market come November if no offers are made.  Then we’ll list again next March.  It was explained to me that there’s some psychology going on.  People tend to shy away from properties that have been listed to for a real long time.  Or something about properties listed over the Christmas break aren’t good either.

To be honest: I’ll pose no opposition if that happens.  My luck seems to spin-up in December as far as moving is concerned.  Stress is almost unbearable as I find another place to live, put all my stuff into storage, disappear for weeks on end for a vacation, get the flu . . .

From last week, I thank you for your input.  Now I ask for it one more time.

This particular conversation I have with people seems to generate some bizarre looks.  I’d just like to know if I’m flying solo on this one.

When going through the escrow process, the lender typically asks if the borrower wants their taxes, insurance, etc impounded as part of their mortgage payment.  There are two schools of thought regarding this feature.

(1)  The borrower declines this service.  Granted it does keep the monthly payment lower but it keeps property taxes and what not as a separate expense.  Most people realize taxes are coming due and sacrifice two or a dozen paychecks to pay it off.  Some people may be diligent, putting this money away in some account somewhere.  They claim you get interest off this money, while it’s sitting in this account.

(2)  The borrower accepts this service.  The payment per month is higher but come tax season, the lender pays the taxes for the borrower.  Insurance is paid each year as well.

This service is offered to everyone, whether they invest in real estate or not.  The question:  Do you have your taxes, what-not impounded (ie pay extra each month and have the lender pay these expenses)?

There just seems to be a problem, living in this new house.  Most of my neighbors are pretty cool.  The others have this Terminator approach to causing problems.  Parking cars all over my property, using it as a toilet and litter box . . .  and now it’s recycle bins.

With the house on a shared alley, all the residents keep their trash cans and recycle bins into the alley way.  One day during the week the city sanitation engineers arrive to remove the garbage.  Of course before the engineers arrive, the “creative” entrepreneurs pick through the garbage and recycle bins.  Anything metallic is quickly claimed.  Or anything which may draw electricity.  This usually takes place around 5 a.m.          You get the idea.

Definitely not a milk carton.

The main door to the back house sits right on the alley.  This main door faces a large apartment complex.  Just like the other residents, this property has it’s share of trash and recycle bins.  About two months ago, a recycle bin appeared right in front of my door.  I push the bin away, cursing under my breath.  But it always returns.  Sometimes it’s return is during the day.  Other times it is at night.

One day I saw the landlord of the apartment building and asked him to move his recycle bin.  After all, having that thing sit directly in front of the door was blocking it.  If the house were to catch on fire, this door would be blocked.  Something about a lawsuit came to mind.

He was unphased.  His response “You can move it.”

That option already occurred to me but his tenants always move it back.

He shrugged his shoulders.  Something about not being able to control his tenants.

A few weeks passed.  Upon returning home, I heard someone yell out “Excuse me”.  Upon turning, a group of people approached me.  It appears the recycle bin, which had been blocking my door, disappeared.  The tenants and the landlord weren’t sure what happened to it.

I’m sure they’ll find it.

One day.

On my recent trip back to the mosquito Great Lake State of Michigan, my sister was showing off her”work in progress” . . . a beautiful four bedroom log cabin.

Neither my sister nor her husband are in shape to build such a cabin.  A contractor must be involved.  Odds are I wouldn’t know their contractor personally.  But I asked anyway.

“He’s Amish.”

Mr. Tim wrote this piece last week, discussing the Amish. The timing of my conversation couldn’t have been better.  The cabin was too well constructed for someone to have done it by hand.  Oh sure you could argue the ancient pyramids were too well constructed without power tools so it is feasible.  But my counterpoint is the Egyptians had Aliens to help them.  My sister and her brother do not.

So the questions poured forth.  Is it the whole Amish community helping?  How does he get from his farm to their house?  How do they call if there is a problem?   How did they find him in the first place?  Does he have a beard and resemble  Weird Al?

Certainly no gaffes could be said about his work.  The cabin itself was gorgeous.  Set upon a basement, the two story four bedroom “house” had incredible views of the land around it.  The near wrap-around decks provided plenty of outdoor seating.  Yes it bothers me to not have photos to share with the class.

When my sister announced a September finish, logic dictated power tools had to be in use.  And they were.  Amish can use power tools; they just can’t own them.  My sister also seemed quite proud of the fact that their Amish contractor was charging a 1/3 of what other contractors were charging.  So far he had kept with that quote.  Payments have been distributed, based on certain projects being completed.

She mentioned something I thought was rather funny.  “Don’t be fooled Cliff.  Those Amish got money.”

If the guy is charging 1/3 of what others are charging, I fail to see how that could possibly be.  Then the light bulb went on.  No overhead.  The new Mercedes S-Class doesn’t even exist in a culture of buggies.  The sense of fashion hasn’t changed in decades.  Credit cards are a tool of the devil.  What real expenses do they face?

Not many.

For having the Amish contractor, his greatest drawback happens to be the same saving grace.  Since he doesn’t have a car, he needs a ride to work everyday.  Yes it is a pain to pick him up every day.  But at least he shows up and works all day.

The response for Project#2 Rental has been huge.  Every phone call has turned into an appointment.  The usual suspects: bedrooms are too small or the closets are big enough.  Whatever.

One trait they all share: dogs.

It is ironic the one aspect of any yard, privacy via a fence, seems to be a beacon for any dog owner.  My honest belief is when people are searching craigslist, they don’t search by location or price but with words such as “fence” or “yard”.

Project#1 had to suffer a rent reduction.  On a whim, I increased the rent on Project#2.  And it appears I’ll get it.  Some people have already applied but they are bringing two medium size dogs.  Super nice, gentile, don’t hurt anyone blah blah blah.

This is the first time I had ever heard the term “Dog Interview”.  No big surprise, considering I don’t have a pet.  But even after three years of playing Landlord roulette, I never heard this phrase before until this last weekend.  A “doggie interview” is when potential tenants bring their pets over for the landlord to meet.  Since I walked away without any gapping wounds or requiring rabbis shots, I thought the dogs were well behaved.

Now, dogs in an enclosed area destroy it.  Let’s just face facts.  They dig holes: not to bury bones, search for lost pirate treasure, or find a short cut to China.  Holes are dug to find cool dirt, then lay in it.  When that dirt warms up, they dig the hole deeper or find a new spot and dig again.  August, which is quickly approaching, promises to bring enough thermal heat to make Chernobyl look like a campfire.

Because a second dog is going into the back yard, an increase in the security deposit was accepted.  I felt this was necessary in the even they move out and the yard needed reconstructive surgery.

I can’t even begin to describe what a relief it will be to have Project#2 rented right away.  The last house took too long to get rented.  But getting this place rented will help keep my head afloat.