Welcome to Chez Cliff!

You guys have been eerily quiet out there.

We’ve been utilizing Twitter to get some word out about our company.  And people have noticed.

Last week, three real estate centric companies contacted me with regards to designing iPhone apps.  We certainly have something special.

For a split second, I actually considered taking up the challenge to make some money.  If we could develop at app for say $5,000 then I could put 30 or 40% on top for managing the whole process . . . why not?

But two thoughts occurred to me.

Designing websites for people still stings.  I once had a web design business which nearly drove me insane.  Conversations that bordered on pure lunacy often times made me reach for a meat cleaver.

Customer:  OK, I like the site but the green is too green.
Clifford:  This is exactly what you wanted.  And now the green is too green?
Customer:  Yeah.  Can you make it less green?
Clifford:  There are over 16 million colors.  Can you give me an example of the green you want?
Customer:  I can see it in my head but the color doesn’t exist.

The second consideration is I’d rather spend time working on my own business rather than designing apps for others.  I’m building a product to present to a mass market.  If I’m building apps for other companies, then I’m focusing my efforts on their company.  Not my own.

So I politely declined.

Our desperate couple in this episode just got their house and, for reasons yet to be disclosed, promised their tenant to have a rentable space within 15 days.  Their situation is different in that they are not yet in trouble financially but they did make a promise.  And only politicians and things-that-go-bump-in-the-night break their promises.

Enter our hero Scott aka Mr Renovation.  If anyone can make this happen, he can.  Thus is the power of television.  No one in the real world could expect a group of contractors to get a renovation done in 15 days.  At least two contractors have to leave in the middle of a job.  They must.  It’s in their contract.

But Scott’s group of SuperContractors can do it.

Martin seems to have some flexibility issues.  He has already rented the space out for $850/month.  He has already promised a 15 day renovation.  And he announces that his maximum, top budget that he can possibly pay is $8,000 for a renovation.  Being one day late or having to spend one penny more will cause the space-time continuum to shatter.

The Options:

Option 1:  Heavy lipstick job.  New flooring, new ceiling with some updated appliances.  Cost is $8,000.
Option 2:  All of Option 1 but demo the bathroom, rearranging the layout.  Cost is $8,500.

Martin once again says that the renovation goes up against their maximum, top budget of $8,000 and they possibly can’t pay a penny more.

Isidora says “We’ll take option 2.”

We like Isidora.  And so does Scott.

Scott, “Well Martin, we know you have to go to work.  Dorie, please come with me to the basement.”

Dorie says “Ok!” just a bit too quick.

Be afraid Martin.  Be very afraid.

As Isidora is wielding the hammer in the bathroom, she notices this black stuff behind the tile.  Yep it’s mold.  As a bonus, ants are occupying the bathroom.  But as far as renovations go, their basement isn’t nearly as bad as other episodes.  So we need some drama.

Let’s throw in a thief.  Someone copied Martin’s ATM card, thus stealing $1,200 from their checking account.  The bank won’t confirm or deny if the young couple will get their money back.  Will the young couple get their money back?  Will they be able to make their mortgage payment on time?  Who shot JR?

Scott feels bad for the young couple.  Since this is television and must have a happy ending, Scott convinces his crew to put in some extra hours and cut a day’s worth off the labor.  This will magically save the couple $1,200.

In the end, the apartment is transformed.  After seeing the work gone into this two bedroom rental, we all want to slap our happy couple for only charging $850 per month for their rental.  They probably could have gotten $1,000 or maybe $1,100.  Who knows?

Are the young couple happy?  Well, we know Isidora is.

“Scott, he just rocks my world.“

Be afraid Martin.  Be very afraid.

So what did we learn?

1. Hardwood floors definitely offer the better ROI.  Carpet wears out after a few years and needs replacing.  Laminate or tile is more durable, lasting longer.
2. Don’t use Martin’s bank.  Any bank that doesn’t refund stolen money is probably in need of a government bailout.

The Lite version of the application has been submitted and is under review by Apple.

Right before submission, Apple sent out an email to all developers stating that the application must comply with their new 3.0 software (not scheduled for release until maybe June).

Ugh.

Last minute scramble, delay of a few days.  But it’s there now.

If you missed it before, you can check it out here:  http://www.nestvestapp.com

We’re gearing up to launch our marketing campaign, using as many freebies as we possibly can.

Time for a review of the only HGTV for Investors:  Income Property: ”Do it right the first time.”

This week’s nail biting episode begins with our damsel in distress Heather.

This single librarian purchased her house under the guise that she could rent out the basement. Well, the sellers pulled a fast one and Heather got stuck with an unrentable basement.  A few major problems later drained Heather of $40,000.  Her $1,500/month mortgage payment consumes nearly 85% of her income.  But rather than toss her keys to the bank and apply for a government bailout, she decided to dig in.  Refusing to flip burgers, she exercises her grey matter and rents out two of her three bedrooms.

Upon seeing Heather in action, my mind immediately paints the picture of a small, awkward school girl with pimples, braces and pig-tails, crying in the corner because the other girls don’t want her around. Once shy and non-confrontational, Heather has matured into a passive-agressive librarian who would most definitely fine you for being 5 minutes late with your library book.

She’s out of money. She’s out of time.

But wait! Look up in the sky!

It’s a bird,

it’s a plane,

it’s Scott McGillivray and his pearly whites!

Whoosh!

Option Time:

Heather has asked her friend Melissa to help her decide between the options Scott is about to present.

Here are the options.

• Option 1: Create a 1 bedroom, 1 office apartment. Cost is $40,000 with rental potential of $750/month.
• Option 2: Create a 2 bedroom apartment. Cost is $43,000. Rental potential of $1,100/month.

While Heather is secretly hoping for a third Option which involves making out with Scott, he explains the current office can’t be considered a bedroom.  Why?  It has no window.  Apparently people like to escape burning houses either by door or by window.  No window, no escape.  Very bad.

Heather’s friend Melissa, who has selective hearing, advises her to take Option 1 but rent it out as a two bedroom and save $3,000. That whole “people could die” message was lost on Melissa.  Probably not a good thing for national television.

Scott advises Option 2 and Heather wisely follows his advice. And so she should. Afterall, her parents are paying the bill.

Not too long into the renovations and Scott discovers the city has issued a “Stop Work” order on the property. The shady sellers apparently got busted for doing shody work so they just sold the house. Scott explains the original inspector must come out and inspect the already inspected property. Heather nods her head sheepishly.  Her puppy-dog eyes make me wonder if she’d punt a small dog if Scott asked her to.

Let’s not find out.

In the end, Heather is happy.  And we know she’s happy.  She can’t stop stroking Scott’s arm.  Who can blame her?  Scott and his team performed a miracle.

Her basement apartment looks incredible. She gets it rented out for $1200/month thus reducing her mortgage payment to $300. Now if Heather was smart, she would move into the downstairs apartment and rent out the 3 bedroom house upstairs. Maybe $1800 or $2000 per month and that puts $500 in her pocket each month.

What did we learn?

1. For bedrooms to be legal, a window for egress must be present.
2. Heather’s friend Melissa will never be my landlord.

Heather's Money Machine

One of my pet peeves regarding the current site (and this blog) is it’s slow download speed.  I want FAST.

This is how we approached the new website.

(1)  The entire website is now downloaded all at once.  We do this utilizing cascading style sheets and one web page.

(2)  The blog is being written on SquareSpace.  When I’m on MSNBC or CNBC in the future, my blog needs to be able to survive 100,000 simultaneous hits.  Squarespace says they eat that much for breakfast.  So be it.

Here’s the Meat and Potatos.

For those that don’t understand how websites work, let me explain.  Imagine you’re writing a series of documents in Word.  Each document we’ll call Home, About, Contact, Products, etc etc etc.  When someone visits your site, the word document called HOME is downloaded to their machine.

Let’s say that your user decides they want to learn more about you.  So the click on the “About” button.  Their computer sends a signal to the web server, which finds the ABOUT document, sends that page back over the internet where your computer displays it on your screen.

Each time a user clicks a button, this same routine is repeated for each document.

Usually the transition takes place under 3 seconds.  But notice how sometime it takes a long time?  (By long I’m talking about 10 to 15 seconds).

The internet is a funny place.  If there’s a lot of traffic, connection speeds are slower.  If the website has a lot of images, downloads are slower.  If the web server is getting a lot of requests for a lot of files, the speed slows down.

Our new site: the entire thing is downloaded to the local computer in under 5 seconds.  What this does is gives us the advantage of having everything at the customer’s finger tips.  So if someone clicks on “PRODUCTS”, the page is rendered instantly.  Why?  Because it’s already on the machine.

Cool huh?

Now if you have a slower computer, the render might take some time.  One second or two.  But I can’t be held responsible because you’re working on a dinosaur.