Welcome to Chez Cliff!

Lately, my head has been a brick.  Plugged completely solid.  Whatever infected me only targeted my head.  My chest, throat and fingernails seem to be doing just fine.  But my head could easily double as a boat anchor.  After a night of breathing through your mouth, you know full well your breath won’t be pretty.  After doing this for several days, your morning breath could peel paint.  I was into day 5 and needed some relief.

For dinner one night, we settled on Thai.  Thai food is good for plugged heads because the spices clear out the yucky with way more effectiveness than any medication available.  

Let’s clear something up.  I like spicy food but I like spicy food that has taste.  Making something spicy to the point where it melts your teeth is not my idea of good food.  One time, a sushi chef made me his famous “Cry like a baby” roll.  I cried alright and my stomach distended for two hours.  It had no taste.  How much fun is that?

Thai Server:  What would you like?
Clifford:  Spicy pork.  Medium. 

With Thai food, my barometer is “Medium”.  Anything higher than level Medium runs the risk of setting my colon on fire.

The server eyed me up suspiciously, wondering whether I could really take medium-medium or if medium-light spiciness would be better.  I recognized his quizzical stare and assured him that even though I was a round-eye I could take medium-medium.

He brought me my food.  Nothing.  I called him over.

Clifford:  This is not medium spicy.  This is Gerber baby-food spicy.  Take this plate back to your chef and tell them I want my head to be a smoldering stump!

He brought me my food.  My head caught on fire.  My stomach started jumping like a fish out of water.  I took another hit of this delicious pork with a splash of Thai ice tea.  

But for the first time in a week, I could breath.  Oh, what a wonderful sensation it was.