Nothing
Posted on August 12, 2008 - Filed Under Rant |
Nothing is happening. Nothing is going on. This real estate thing has been stretched as far as I can. Last night I realized I was scraping the bottom of the barrel if the most exciting real estate thing is worms pitching tents. An article about flossing my teeth would have been infinitely more interesting.
No longer will I waste your time talking about such useless minutiae. Instead we’ll talk something more pressing: the incompetence of Bob Costas, idiot savant extraordinaire.
The single greatest tragedy to befall the flawless HD broadcast of the Opening Ceremonies was letting that useless pinhead Bob Costas have a microphone. The only reason the “mute” button was not pressed was due to the Chinese expert, Jim what’s his face, who actually added relevant and timely descriptions of what we were seeing. But Bob Costas?
Jim: These are the traditional dresses, woven in the same technique as they were in that period. This is all meant to accent the single greatest invention of that period: the printing press.
Bob Costas: Well you know Jim, my cat’s breath smells like cat food.
The parade of nations. One country could only afford to send one athlete. Carrying his country’s flag, his face was filled with wonder and excitement as over 90,000 people cheered his entrance into the area. The feelings of pride, of child-like awe must have been almost overwhelming. The honor fell to him, to represent the best his country had to offer.
Bob Costas: You know, the average yearly income of people from his nation is only $134 per year?
What in the world does their average salary have to do with their dreams of Olympic gold? For crying out loud! Sorry we don’t all make the whopping 6 figure salary like you do, Bob Costas. Hey Pinhead, get a clue: why don’t you keep your mouth shut versus comparing their life to your chauffeur-driven, Harbucks sippin’, Manhatten pentehouse livin’ lifestyle.
Insert smooth transition here.
Badminton. Little asian girls, swatting a piece of plastic (shuttlecock) back and forth at supersonic speeds. I can’t even see it when they hit it. Every now and then, a piece of plastic just appears on the ground and all the shoulders slump. In either disappointment or relief. Just how these little asian girls know where shuttlecock will appear is anyone’s guess. This is beyond hand-eye coordination. They must have this sense of ESP or maybe they can peer into the future. Who knows?
Damn little asian girls are fast.
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Fortunately, I must have been watching a different channel druing the opening ceremonies. I either didn’t hear him muttering nonsense or the visitors that we had over were a significant distraction while I watched the hundreds if not closer to thousands of kids doing the Tai Chi routine… That was an amazing performance.
But of course I would be remiss if I didn’t comment on Michael Phelps. The guy must be a Mer-man… He will definately be on the cover of every magazine and Wheaties box for the next year… WOW!!!