Welcome to Chez Cliff!

The other night I turned on the television to watch another “Self help show”.  It was my first time watching this show.  First impressions carry a lot of weight.   With that being said, the show “The Big Idea” actually impressed me.

For those who may not know, “The Big Idea” is a show hosted by Donny Deutsch who is some big entrepreneurial type.  Co-hosting are three experts, all high end entrepreneurs who easily make me look like a stick in the mud.  During the hour, they field calls and questions from small, struggling entrepreneurs on how to break through.

Yes, it’s hard to get real quality advice within a space of 3 or 4 minutes.  But the quality of that advice is astounding.  Come to find out, the three experts really study the business models of the callers before they hit the studio.  “Hit the ground running” is a phrase which is applicable.

At the end of every segment, Donny connected the person needing help with someone who could help them.  Some lady was working hard to move her beauty products from local to national and Donny connects her with a chief editor from Cosmopolitan magazine.  Another lady has fresh marainades for meat and Donny not only gets her talking with a VP from Whole Foods but also helps connect her with a VP of a national food distributor.

I’m always a big supporter of anyone trying to improve themselves, try new things.  But to be in a position where you can help others achieve their dreams . . . ultimate respect.

It’s nice to know there’s something of quality to actually watch on tv.

The other night, the writer of this song was on.  After this amazing commercial, he’s had problems breaking into the big leagues.  This commercial is the best!

With the deadline looming for my great “online business”, it’s time to bring in some hired help.  Between eLance and Guru.com, I’ve decided to run with Guru.com.

For those that don’t know, sites like eLance and Guru.com are resources to find just about anyone to do just about anything business related.  Whether it’s research or marketing plans to building websites and creating logos these two sites can line you up with scores of people.

How the process works from the entrepreneur’s standpoint:  Create a project, inputting as much information as you can.  Give start and completion dates for the project, along with any specific requests.  Last but certainly not least, you can select a budget.  This doesn’t mean people will take your job, building the next great website for $250.  When your budget hits the fair point, people will bid.

I’ve put two projects up, requiring different skill sets.  So far I’ve been impressed with the level of competent skills which have bid on my projects.  Yes, some rather unimpressive folks have bid but at least they are trying.

The reviews are key.  At first I was only interested in looking at those with high ratings and reviews.  But some of these people only had 4 or 5 reviews, each job around $40 or $50.  Being the suspicious, sneaky person that I am I thought maybe these people had some friends create some projects.  Exchange a few dollars and a positive review is born.  I figured 50 positive reviews was a good cut off point.

Of course, horror stories liter the internet from both sides.  The number one item which would scare any entrepreneur would be a company stealing your idea.  It’s true: the US does have the non-disclosure agreement.  But a number of stories were centered around companies in India stealing their ideas and running with it.  What recourse does the US based, budding entrepreneur have?

So far no contracts have been awarded.  People are carefully being vetted.  But if my experience goes well, other jobs are coming down the pipe and it would be nice to have a few names on speed dial.

Today we go sideways.

About a month ago, my doctor called with some news.  ”Hashimoto has occured.”

“Is that a super power?” I asked.

The urgency in my doctor’s voice clearly demonstrated that this was not a casual illness.  Medication had to be started right away.  Medication for what?  My thyroid is under attack.  My body’s immune system wants to eject the thyroid like a cat ejects a hair ball.

Lord Google broke the bad news: medication for the rest of my life.

Merde.

Thus began more blood work.  More sonograms.

No cure exists.  No surgery can stop it.  No amount of blood-letting or leeches can cure this ailment.  It’s genetic.

I should have paid more heed to the obvious symptoms such as fatigue.  A lot of energy for three or four hours and then in some narcoleptic fashion I’d pass out.  In my car, at the library, in the barber chair.

Since starting the medication, I feel 10 years younger.  Ton of energy.

I also adjusted my diet.  More spinach, kelp and seaweed . . . oh don’t cringe.  It just means I’ll have to eat more sushi.  My cooking salt, which revealed zero iodine, has been swapped out with real salt with real iodine.  I didn’t know this before but during the 19th century, all kinds of kids were born with mental problems due to lack of iodine in their diet.  That’s why it was originally added to salt.

It looks like the warranty on my body has expired.  I own it now.  Can’t take it back.

But I will tell you this:  I cannot describe how good it feels to be “me” once again.

From last week, I thank you for your input.  Now I ask for it one more time.

This particular conversation I have with people seems to generate some bizarre looks.  I’d just like to know if I’m flying solo on this one.

When going through the escrow process, the lender typically asks if the borrower wants their taxes, insurance, etc impounded as part of their mortgage payment.  There are two schools of thought regarding this feature.

(1)  The borrower declines this service.  Granted it does keep the monthly payment lower but it keeps property taxes and what not as a separate expense.  Most people realize taxes are coming due and sacrifice two or a dozen paychecks to pay it off.  Some people may be diligent, putting this money away in some account somewhere.  They claim you get interest off this money, while it’s sitting in this account.

(2)  The borrower accepts this service.  The payment per month is higher but come tax season, the lender pays the taxes for the borrower.  Insurance is paid each year as well.

This service is offered to everyone, whether they invest in real estate or not.  The question:  Do you have your taxes, what-not impounded (ie pay extra each month and have the lender pay these expenses)?

There just seems to be a problem, living in this new house.  Most of my neighbors are pretty cool.  The others have this Terminator approach to causing problems.  Parking cars all over my property, using it as a toilet and litter box . . .  and now it’s recycle bins.

With the house on a shared alley, all the residents keep their trash cans and recycle bins into the alley way.  One day during the week the city sanitation engineers arrive to remove the garbage.  Of course before the engineers arrive, the “creative” entrepreneurs pick through the garbage and recycle bins.  Anything metallic is quickly claimed.  Or anything which may draw electricity.  This usually takes place around 5 a.m.          You get the idea.

Definitely not a milk carton.

The main door to the back house sits right on the alley.  This main door faces a large apartment complex.  Just like the other residents, this property has it’s share of trash and recycle bins.  About two months ago, a recycle bin appeared right in front of my door.  I push the bin away, cursing under my breath.  But it always returns.  Sometimes it’s return is during the day.  Other times it is at night.

One day I saw the landlord of the apartment building and asked him to move his recycle bin.  After all, having that thing sit directly in front of the door was blocking it.  If the house were to catch on fire, this door would be blocked.  Something about a lawsuit came to mind.

He was unphased.  His response “You can move it.”

That option already occurred to me but his tenants always move it back.

He shrugged his shoulders.  Something about not being able to control his tenants.

A few weeks passed.  Upon returning home, I heard someone yell out “Excuse me”.  Upon turning, a group of people approached me.  It appears the recycle bin, which had been blocking my door, disappeared.  The tenants and the landlord weren’t sure what happened to it.

I’m sure they’ll find it.

One day.