Tell tale jingle
Posted on July 30, 2008 - Filed Under Business |
Jingle Jingle Jingle
For the past month, this noise constantly wakes me up at all hours. Jingle Jingle Jingle. At first I thought it was Santa Claus, making an early run. But since no lumps of coal appeared, I’ll assume it isn’t.
At 2 o’clock, from my deep dark dreams I hear “jingle jingle jingle” coming from outside my window. I rip it open, search frantically but see nothing. Night after night, sometimes 2 and 3 times a night. Weeks have passed and uninterrupted, peaceful sleep eludes me.
Jingle Jingle Jingle
Trace evidence is always left behind. Poop. I believe every animal within the confines of our neighborhood now believes my yard is a litter box. Contrary to popular belief animal poop is not nice on the olfactory receptors. Potential tenants or buyers would have to be in a vegetative state in order to miss it.
One day I was chatting with the neighbor lady. Let’s call her Yoga. We were standing in my driveway.
Yoga: “Yeah and parking here is a real bear at night blah blah blah my toe nails are blue yak yak yak my car has four tires blah blah blah-”
Jingle Jingle Jingle.
My ears perked up. During the day? The jingles are during the day? Frantically I started searching. Where did it come from? Under my car? Behind the rose bushes?
Jingle Jingle Jingle
“Did you hear that?!?” I screamed. “Where did that noise come from? Behind the fence? Under the porch?”
“What noise?”
Jingle Jingle Jingle
“That!!! HEHE!! That jingling! It must be here!”
“That? Oh that’s Mr. Nichols.”
“What the heck is a Mr. Nichols? Is it like a ventriloquist dummy? Or like a tickle-my-butt Elmo?”
“Mr. Nichols is my cat. I got him that collar so I would know where he’s at. OK I gotta run!”
Evidence of Mr Nichols can be found everywhere. My yard has become a giant litter box. Smells real nice when perspective buyers show up.
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Try cayenne pepper in the areas that the cat likes to frequent. It worked on keeping my dog out of the tomato plants, until he figured out that he could eat the tomatoes. You can also buy spray from Petsmart.
BB guns work well too… But since you never see it, the target could be ilusive. The “Pray and Spray” method only works if you don’t care if your car getes peppered with tiny dents…
On a serious note, I’ve heard from my sister-in-law who owns a cat rescue that there is a white powder that contains dried coyote urine. You sprinkle this like voo doo dust around your entire property and the felines stay out of your yard…
Now sprnkling white powder around may just get other visitors as well… Junkies or the DEA may pay a visit to see what exotic material you are disposing of. But I hear it does work.
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