Welcome to Chez Cliff!

The names in the following true story have been changed to protect the guilty as sin innocent.

With the tenant moving into Project#1, some last minute tinkering was required.  One item in particular was the back door.  The hole for the door knob was gone.  Rabid wood-peckers and crack-filled termites munched away the area to the point where the knob barely stayed in place.  When I first purchased the home, all the deadbolts and door knobs were changed to the schlage lock.  At that time, the degradation was not that bad.  This would have been a problem sooner or later.

Having to replace the entire door was not something I wanted to do.  But I didn’t want the tenant to move in sans doorknob.  A wood door with a window costs around $200 (without installation).  I prepared for the worst.

This guy I know, let’s call him Shifty, said he could do the door for me.  He has done work for me before.  On the cheap.  I figured this was a no-brainer.  The job was his and away he went.  When complete, I asked him to re-install the doorknob which I had removed and placed on the counter next to the door.

He didn’t replace the door.  Instead he replaced the section of door that was bad.  And what a fine job he did.  You would never know any work had been done.

“$50” he quoted me.

Giggling like a school girl, and relieved out of my skull, I paid him the $50.  He saved me about $250.  Who wouldn’t be giddy?  Then that’s where the problem began.

“Your door knob no working.”

Then I noticed: the door knob was not the schlage door knob.  It was some other door knob.

Clifford:  This isn’t my door knob.  Where’s my door knob?
Shifty:  This it!
Clifford:  All these locks work to this key.  See?  This key doesn’t fit in the door knob.  This isn’t mine.
Shifty:  Dunno, Mr Cleep.  This is doorknob on the counter!

Why in the world would he steal my door knob?  Makes no sense.  He offered to buy me a replacement door knob.  I declined.  A new door knob ($30) would require a locksmith ($70) to re-key it to fit with the other locks.

But why steal the knob?

For fear of him having a key made that would work in all the locks, I replaced all the deadbolts with new ones.  Bruce show-cased the Kwikset Smart Key the other day which I’m trying out.  They advertise you can re-key all your locks within 30 seconds to new keys, without a locksmith.  This seems perfect for rentals.