Welcome to Chez Cliff!

Admittedly I am the worst California resident.  Upon approaching my 10 year anniversary of immigrating to this state I still find myself stumbling over the locations of various cities or museums or even roads.  Part of this does lie with the fact that I’m particularly not interested in LA.  When it comes to Paris, restaurants, metro stops, museums, historic boulevards are more known to me than Universal City or the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

On occasion I have made the voyage up to Los Angeles.  In some aspects it is nearly as foreign to me as Vietnam or Thailand.  Granted the geographic comparison between Saigon and Sunset Boulevard is night and day.  But by the end of a grueling two hour bumper to bumper drive, the airline flight may sound like the better option.  Once you do arrive, you then get to pay $20 to park your car.  

Lately this incredible itch has driven me to get out and explore.  Not wanting to drive I decided to done my bullet proof vest and ride the metro.

Between Amtrak Surfliner and the Metro, all of LA has opened up to me.  I’m amazed at how easily it is to get around, without a car.  If you’re stunned to learn LA even has a metro, join the club.  I had only learned of this a few years ago and thought it was reserved for criminals and mullets.  Not so.

This last weekend, I took the Redline up to Universal City.  Next to me sat a tourist from Boston. I asked him if he had ever eaten at Phillipe’s.  Phillipes is to Los Angeles what Plymouth Rock is to Massachusetts.  A true landmark.  Years has passed since I had experienced a whole roast beef sandwich dipped into the best “au jus” sauce which is illegal in 12 states.  My stomach craves this tasty morsel and if it was easily accessible by train I may just go.  

Of course the bostonian had eaten there.  It’s only a two block walk from the beautiful Union Station.  Score!

I am dying to try the best hot dog in Los Angeles, compliment of Pink’s.  Someone told me Chef Bobby Flay recommends it.  Since Flay carries the same level of respect as warm dog pooh, I instinctively wanted to boycott it.  Then Tony Bourdain gave it a thumbs up and that’s good enough for me.  But drive two hours for a hot dog?  Probably not.  Take the metro?  Oh yeah.  Hook a brother up.

As far as safety is concerned: I removed my bullet proof vest after five minutes.  Not only did I look silly but it clashed with my shoes.  Can’t have that.

After all the input from the past few days, my new ad is up and running.  And the results have been very promising.  The new ad produced eight phone calls with turned into 7 appointments.  Only one stood me up.  But that was alright because the appointments were all back to back.

First new strategy:  Listening to the people

Following Kenric’s advice, every time someone asks a question I’ve added it to the ad.  Example:  The other day, an appointment asked about the schools in the area.  This is something that completely escaped my field of vision.  Now a link is in the ad, directing them to a website which rates the schools.

Second new strategy:  Ad Placement

Craiglist sorts their ads depending on age.  The older the ad, the further down the page it goes.  If people do manage to find it, odds are they are assuming the house is already taken and don’t bother to call.  After seven days, the ad disappears altogether.

Every few days my old ad is being deleted and a new one being posted.  This should keep my posting near the top of the search results.

Possible future idea

Nearly 20% of my phone calls are from people moving into the Southern California area.  Many questions are posed, regarding the location of restaurants and grocery stores in the area.  Also more people ask if more photos are available.  Craigslist only lets me display a few photos at a time.

I’ve been kicking around the idea of creating a website.  Thanks to Wordpress, I can have a website up and running within an hour.  The number of photos which could be posted becomes limitless.  All kinds of neighborhood information could be listed as well.  All my contact information, including the rental application, could be stored there as well.  This would cost around $20.

At my “9 to 5″, I’m surrounded by people who are renters.  When I bounced this idea off of them, every single one said this was a great idea.  Their feedback:  more often than not landlords don’t put enough information in the ads.

For the website I’ve decided to wait until the weekend passes.

**My apologies for the late addition today.  Internet gremlins disrupted my service.**

I was nearly 11 when I bought my first GI Joe comic book.  When we got home from our montly shopping trip to the “big city” I darted into my bedroom, closed the door and started consuming it.

The characters were talking about a mission and someone said “This will be impossible.”

Their leader, Duke, said “Our job is to do the impossible.  And make it look easy.”

That was cool.

Tim wrote this excellent article, talking about how it is easier to accomplish big goals rather than mediocre ones.  His explanation is right on the money: big goals have less competition.

Per his explanation, “99% of the world is convinced they are incapable of achieving great things, so they aim for the mediocre middle-ground”

What qualifies as “mediocre”?  This plays into our “point of view” of the world.  Levels exist which I personally believe qualifies as mediocre yet others believe are the pinnacles of existence.

Many moons ago, before purchasing Property#1, the idea of buying was pitched to nearly every person I knew.  An overwhelming majority said the same thing “You can’t do that.  It’s Southern California.  You don’t make enough money.”

The alternative, the mediocre path, called for me to become a Manager.  The problem: nearly 150 people apply for each manager position.  With nearly all applicants being qualified, how in the world do you beat out 150 people for one single position?

On Property#1, ten of us submitted bids.  Only 10.  Seven of which were low-ball offers.  Three of us were countered with myself coming out on top.

In the grand scheme, taking on 10 people was much easier than 150.  Advanced degrees were not necessary nor did my last name have to match the last name of a Vice President.  I didn’t have to sell myself to a group of people, who could summarily dismiss me because they’re jealous of my tie.

Thanks for the comments yesterday.  My response was getting too long so the “post” option seemed to be the better approach.

AI:  If no one was interested enough to show up to look at yours, then your rent is too high. [Thty] all found cheaper or better located housing.

Clifford:  I disagree.  The people knew the rent when the called and still wanted appointments.  They are the ones who selected the times and I agreed to meet with them.  Why they never bothered to show up or at least cancel is beyond me.  While I may call them impolite, I don’t think these people are collectively “standing me up” to punish me for having my rent too high.

AI:  I like the idea of mass showings.

Clifford:  As do I.  The only problem is after three weeks, with each having a three hour window, only one person showed up.  One over a three week period.  That’s when the decision was made to abandon this approach.

AI:  If your rent needs to be lowered, do it now and get the place rented.

Clifford:  I’ve been steadily lowering the rents.  Each reduction produces a mass of phone calls with about 50% turning into appointments.  I know someone who runs a PM company and listened to what he was getting in that same area.  I’m confident this new rental price will work.

Paty:  Maybe they work for the cable company!

Clifford:  Too bad they don’t work for Dominos.  I would have gotten $60 worth of pizza for free!

Kenric:  Cliff, are you still spacing the appointments apart? Just make them all at the same time and waste only 1 hour of your life.

Clifford:  That is actually a great idea.  Rather than declare an open house, I could schedule a bunch of people during the same hour.  Maybe something would break loose if some one on the fence saw other people showing up to view the house.

I did notice something: every phone call or every visitor seemed to ask one of two questions:  ”Is there a garage?” or “There’s two houses on this lot?” 

When I wrote the ad, it never occurred to me to write “No garage”.  I was more focused on writing what the house had versus what it didn’t have.  After all the house doesn’t have a meth-lab, an indian burial ground, a tattoo parlor . . .

The ad was re-written, to include answer these two questions.  People who require these items won’t bother to call, thereby not wasting their time nor mine.

I’m also going to follow up the day of the appointment.  ”Just calling to confirm our appointment today for 3:30.”

All my faith in humanity is evaporated.

Four appointments in one day.  Three of them were no-shows.

Yep.  I got stood up.  It was almost as bad as senior prom.

Is it really that difficult to pick up a phone and call someone to say “Yes, I’m sorry but I can’t make it for our appointment?”  They obviously used the phone to call and make the appointment.  They now can’t make a phone call to cancel it?

I personally blame the 90’s for this state of human affairs.  This entire decade produced this “get in touch with your feelings” kum-by-ya crap.  Now because we have to be “sensitive” to other people’s feelings and not hurt them we can’t say “No” anymore.

Pinheads.

My blood was boiling when I returned to my little shack.  Nearly 3 hours of my life, wasted.

Truth be told: I almost called them an hour later.  I wanted to say “Hi, this is Clifford.  You were suppose to meet me today at 4:30.  You never showed up.  Could you explain to me why you didn’t bother to call and cancel the appointment?”

Honestly: do these people really think that I’ll have a complete mental break-down if they call and cancel?

Spectator 1:  What’s with the dude in the clock tower with the rifle?
Spectator 2:  Oh, he’s some guy name Cliff.  He was suppose to show his house today but the lady called and cancelled.  Then he went berzerk and started shooting. 

When faced with a choice of being polite or being sensitive, these people chose to be impolite.

For some reason, this time around for renting the house has produced over 50% “no shows” compared to before.  Other times, it was maybe 1 in three. 

Wait a minute Clifford!  You said three of them were no-shows.  What about number four?

Ah, number four was someone who exhibited a bit of class and respect.  She actually called to cancel her appointment.  In advance!  That explains why 3 hours of my life was wasted instead of four.

I won’t reveal any more details about her than that.  Society fears those who are different.  She may be hunt down and killed for actually being polite and considerate.