Brownie Points for Lowes Range Hood
Posted on May 5, 2008 - Filed Under Housing |
Lady Fortune has a weird, if not impeccable sense of timing.
With the tenants vacating the property, the budget for the month shall be tight. The anticipation of this has lead to some cost-cutting measures. One item that was to be sacrificed: the range hood for the stove. The minimum price tag was $98 from Lowes.
A few years back, my “9 to 5″ implemented a program which shall be called “Brownie Points”. If management deemed the actions of an employee to be spectacular, the individual is rewarded with points. These points can be redeemed at the Brownie Pride Point store. Not to be confused with ‘Gay Pride’.
One day, I put periods at the end of my sentences on the TPS reports. Management was ecstatic. This was revolutionary: putting periods at the end of sentences. So, my reward was 100 points. Glancing at the Pride Point catalog, the choice of products was pretty lame. Bag of Doritos, a shoe lace, calendar of dog poop . . . now maybe the Doritos wouldn’t be so bad. But the company’s name was sprawled all over it, rendering my dream of a workplace-free home impossible.
Over the next few years, my performance on TPS reports became revolutionary: indented a paragraph, used capital letters on proper nouns, spelled words correctly . . . and each was rewarded with more points. Periodically, the catalog was checked for new products. Plastic ice cream scoop, hamster wheel, Charles Manson snow-globe . . . and each item had the company name sprawled all over it.
Last week, talking with the lady coworker, the topic of the Brownie Points arose. She asked if I had redeemed my points. I told her no. Ketchup packages with the company name held no appeal for me.
“You know you can get a Lowe’s gift card now, right?”
I guess my fellow cogs didn’t want to redeem their points for crap high quality prizes with the company name all over them. Enough people complained and now gift certificates are offered.
It is a “1 to 1″ trade, meaning $1 for every point. So 100 points were cashed in for the $100 gift card. Add a Lowe’s coupon to that and my range hood is now free.
Glorious Day!
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Watch out for the Karma Gods. You’re only allowed so much good luck in a week.
@Carla: I’m so screwed.