Welcome to Chez Cliff!

My heart aches for Corey who lost her father.

My normal reaction to these events is always to evaluate my life. Yes, one could argue the financial pursuits are the objectives. But experiencing life has always been mine. My greatest fear is having life pass me by then one day on my death bed saying something like “Gee, I wish I had tried that cow face after all.”

As shocking as this may seem, it is highly doubtful a death bed confession says “Gee, I wish I had one more day to sit in my cubicle, having my boss tell me I did that TPS report in the wrong font.”

I have a “100 Things to do before you die”. It is list I created, many moons ago, which contains a bunch of items that would truly touch my soul.

Some of the items on my list:

• Swim with dolphins and sharks (not at the same time)
• Visit the origins of my religious background
• Confront my greatest phobia
• Drive Route 66 in a convertible. And take my time.
• Eat Fugu in Japan

What are some things you want to do before shuffling off your mortal coil?

One of those anal tendencies popped up: connecting a waterline to the refrigerator.

The layout of the kitchen shows this is not an easy task. From where the kitchen sink is located, the waterline would have to run up and around the door, along the base board, behind the refrigerator and to grandmothers house we go. My thinking: hire a plumber. Estimated price tag: $200.

Explaining the project to my visiting parents, my mom asked “Well, why don’t you just drill a hole through the wall from the bathroom to the kitchen?”

Sometimes we get so buried into a problem or into a situation that it takes someone to ask some relatively dumb questions in order to break our perception. Living in the house, these problems are present every day. My parents just arrived and suggested the easiest course of action.

The bathroom sink, located less than 2 feet away, was not even a consideration. Not because it was a bad idea. But that my brain said “Waterline runs from the kitchen sink to the refrigerator.”

A trip to Lowes to get a icemaker installation kit and a 12 inch drill bit. And as is the fashion, we made a second trip to Lowes to get that one tiny item that always seems to evade shoppers on their first trip

After a few hours and a couple of WTFs, water was flowing out the refrigerator door.

The ice maker is so loud . . . nearly crapped my pants at 1:30 in the morning when it turned on. The next day it was appreciated. Sunday it hit 95 degrees, which meant it was 120 jillion in that tiny house.

Many moons ago, during the renovation, I was convinced to purchase porcelain tiles which looked like travertine instead of buying the actual travertine. To make a long story short: the porcelain tiles were never used. “All sales final” meant the tiles sat behind the house.

Several times, Craiglist was considered to sell these tiles off. In total, twelve boxes of 18 inch tile could cover almost any room. Maybe $100 or $150 for the lot if a sucker happened along.

But the drama of that turned it off. Getting someone who would actually show up to look at the tile would be an adventure. Then there would be some kind of price haggle, where the sucker thought $25 would be a fair price. I’d say no and leave to come back to work. Then the sucker would return and steal the tile, because it’s all behind the house.

Last week, a coworker told me she wanted to redo her tile in her kitchen. My porcelain tile was offered for free, which she gladly accepted. After six months the tile had warn out its welcome at Chez Cliff. GrassGuy was coming to clean up the yard so this would make his job a lot easier. Plus the lady wouldn’t have to spend hundreds of dollars buying tile. Everyone wins

One more item on the back house: window screens. As fate would have it, a coupon arrived from Screen Mobile, who has done wonderful work for me. They charge around $45 per window. With four windows and taxes, price tag would be around $200. They were put on my “To Do” list.

The next day the conversation went like this.

Coworker: So what do you have left to do on the houses?
Clifford: Well, I got this coupon from ScreenMobile so I’m going to get screens put on the back house.
Coworker: Don’t do that! I got all the tools and material to build screens.
Clifford: Are you serious?
Coworker: Sure! Just bring me in the dimensions and I’ll make the screens for you. It’s the least I can do for all that great tile you gave me!

Some elbow grease will have to be used on my part to hang the screens. But 15 minutes of work to save $200?

This now begs the question: on my next project, could I hire her out at 50% what Screen Mobile charges?

Such the Capitalist I am . . .

The last two remaining items were completed.

Repair the Fence: Done.

The missing 8 foot section of fence has been replaced. And it’s looking quite good. The contractor used this time was a contractor I brought by the house, long before escrow closed. He was stunned to see the difference.

One weakness identified in my plan: complete reliance upon one contractor. In any business, reliance upon one person to achieve your ultimate goal is dangerous. Being able to change people out is key to making sure whatever project you are working on is completed.

Yard Clean-Up: Done.

A small amount of debris, too big to fit in the trash bin. Most of this was piled in front of the small house due to the front tenants complaining. Now, it has disappeared. With the exception of a small section of old fence, the yard looks pretty good.

The next step: get the Real Estate Agent over to walk the property before listing. He had throat surgery last weekend so the issue will not be pushed for the moment. With the houses just being painted, his jugular doesn’t need to add a third color.

Until his arrival, my anal tendencies will surface to spot those mistakes which a potential buyer might notice. Those will be taken care of. Doing a quick glance around, all of it is minor.

If you’re asking “Yeah Cliff but what did the karma balance demand?”

The day after the yard was cleaned, a four inch chunk of caulking came out around the shower basin. I kid you not. The entire shower needs to be caulked again.

Relax. This isn’t about a profile on Match.com.

My online project hit a delay, which needs to be shared.

With the product out of development and the website coming together, the real reason why this idea was launched was somehow missed.

True, the Duct Tape Marketing book did a great job helping me map out a course. But the question, the oldest question in existence was missed.

Why.

Two characteristics of my demographic market: Mostly women, between 25 and 45.

Mentor: So why are these women looking for your product?
Clifford: Because our product is the best product out there. No one does what we do.
Mentor: That’s not what I asked. I asked ‘why’ women are looking for your product.
Clifford: . . .
Mentor: You’ll need to understand that. Once you truly understand the question, you’ll master how to give the answer. Then you’ll be onto something.
Clifford: I guess I missed that when learning about marketing.
Mentor: Learning about marketing? Where?
Clifford: From a book.
Mentor: That was your first mistake.

During the rest of our conversation, the topic of Guru.com came up. His suggestion: hire a marketing person for a few hours to solidify the marketing approach to the business.  Admittedly a part of me is extremely curious as to what this might yield.

What I did was not wrong.  Ideas for lead generation, referrals, the free newsletter . . . all of which are good.  But why is our demographic going to open their wallets?  What basic need or emotion are we responding to?

True: our product will be the best product out there.  No one offers what we offer.  But how many times through-out history has a great product been launched and then quickly forgotten?  How many great ideas or great products languish in obscurity because the marketing wasn’t there to push the product forward?

Our core ideas are still there.  This past week, the Partner and I have been reworking the ideas to fit our new marketing message.  

I’m quite anxious to see where this leads.