Greasy Spoon

Posted on July 20, 2007 - Filed Under Food and Drink |

What is it with working construction and greasy food?

Every time I have performed work on a home, my body instantly starts
craving nasty, greasy, deep-fried food.  And I am not alone with this
affliction.  Go to any hamburger joint around lunch time and there are
painters, plumbers, electricians all scarfing down a third of a pound
of prime USDA grease.

Within a few blocks of my house, there is a mom & pop greasy spoon
diner.  Only opened 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., this place only serves the
lunchtime crowd.  And that’s alright.  If you’re going to do one
thing, do it well.  Paint splashes all over my legs, face and arms I
have the appropriate "badge of honor" to blend in with my fellow
construction mates.


Flo, the waitress, brings me my grease burger with fake cheddar cheese
on top.  Fat, heart-stopping onion rings on the side.  What is that
green stuff on my plate?  Is that a vegetable?  Get that crap out of
here!

After five hours of painting and inhaling fumes, it never crosses my
mind that pan-seared foie gras, with a reduced raspberry glaze would be
an acceptable lunch.  A glass of Chateau LaTour?  Pffft.  Coffee.
Black.

Since this is probably encoded into our genetic makeup, two possible
theories are offered.  Choose the theory which matches you belief.

Creationism:  "And on the seventh day, God rested with a grease burger and onion rings."  Genesis 2:2 (New Clifford Version)

Evolution:  Gar the caveman wanted a space to put his new 62" flat
screen rock.  After a hard day of beating his cave wall with a club, he
became hungry.  His wife, Urg, ate all the fat free Yoplait yogurt and
left only hamburger.  Gar ate the burger and liked it.  He told his two
sons, Murmf and Guh, to eat burger when they grew up and made caves of
their own.  Gar was then eaten by a sabre tooth tiger.

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