Welcome to Chez Cliff!

Lowes Blonde Helper:  Um, that will be $9,500.  Installation will be another $3,000.
Clifford:  Well just spank me with a wooden spoon!

For the kitchen, I decided to go pre-fab.  Using the pre-fabs from Home Depot is unacceptable.  A Home Depot kitchen looks like . . . .  well a Home Depot Kitchen.  Thanks to the generous amount of "flippers", Home Depot Kitchens are popping up everywhere and are as easily identifiable as furniture from IKEA.

For the record, I hate Home Depot and Ikea. (here, here, here and here)

Lowes has a wonderful selection of kitchen cabinets.  Some are carried in stock and some are special order.  But they are all pre-fabricated.  The idea is to save money.

During my window shopping, I saw this Caldwell style of cabinets.  And per the pretty little picture at Lowes, a 10 foot by 10 foot kitchen was $4,000.  This new project has a kitchen which is 8 foot by 12 foot.  The dimensions are similar ergo the price should be similar.  I had budgeted $3500 for cabinets so my mission was to get the price down.  Reducing the price $500 via negotiation would not be difficult.

BUT

$9,500 for material + $3000 for labor?  That’s $12,500!  For crying out loud my other cabinets were $14,500 and they were custom made!

Blonde Helper must be smoking dope.

But Mikki has convinced me to give Home Depot one more try.

The stink.

That rank, malicious, over-powering, skin-rotting smell which proliferated the entire house . . .

The cause was not from pot, toxic chemicals, pesticides nor smelly gym socks.  The body of Jimmy Hoffa was not hidden under the house nor were stinky gremlins inhabiting the crawl space.

It was this:

Now you’re asking yourself "Self, how can one can of air freshener nearly kill our hero Clifford?"

I’m glad you asked.

It wasn’t one can.  More like 15.

Jailbird, and his girlfriend Jailbait, were probably trying to mask the smell of the pot.

And the "fragrance" was Desert Jasmine.  Personally I like the smell of jasmine.  But the desert?  Well, I didn’t know the desert had a smell.

Definitely don’t like the two of them mixed together.

WonderWoman has shunned her nickname and since we all know her as Mikki, well the "WonderWoman" moniker no longer applies.

Eighty years ago, when the house was being built, the state of the art in electrical wiring was installed.

Knob and Tube.

The fact that wiring was sent through plastic tubes, or suspended via ceramic knobs does not bother me.  What does bother me is the cloth material that was used to insulate the wires.

Why does that scare me?  Constant heat, natural decay of fabric, little hungry creatures . . . leads to exposed wires.

Does this happen?  Well the chances are slim.  But after the "luck" I’ve experienced with these houses, it wouldn’t surprise me if half the wiring was exposed.

Since new wiring is being installed, and walls have been demoed, it makes sense to go ahead and redo the electrical now.  Plus, it will be up to code which is always goodness.

Then on resale of the house, this is extra encouragement to the buyers that the 80 year old house they’re looking at won’t kill them.  They will not awake in the middle of the night, smoke everywhere, because some multi-legged creature got hungry and gnawed on the wires.

The kitchen area was completely redone.  With the addition of the GFI receptacles, one every 24 inches, the kitchen will be a powerhouse for appliances.  If anything, it will be "up to code" which is her mantra.

This knowledge will be useful on my next project.  Being able to size up the electrical in the house will help determine, with greater accuracy, the budget.

Dear Readers,

I have taken a mental day.  There is a lot going on, with many decisions.

I will return tomorrow with numerous updates.

See you then!

House repair shows will probably never see an Emmy.  Not with pointless Anatomy shows, starring Dr. McDumpster, sweeping the awards.

But we can try.

Here’s one cost saving idea: scraping ceiling popcorn.

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