The CattleMan
Posted on December 13, 2006 - Filed Under Personal |
There was a knock at my door.
"Hi, my name is Maria." came the voice from behind 4 inch eye lashes.
The Cattleman Delivery service was knocking at my door. This service brings meat to the door of thousands across Southern California. It’s quality meat: from the mid-west.
I’m sorry but California beef is horrendous.
Happy Cows come from California? Biggest lie ever perpetrated on the American public.
Prime Rib. Rib Eye. Bacon-wrapped fillet-mignon. Each one individually vacuum sealed for decades of storage in a nice refrigerator. Such as mine
!
My freezer was empty. A Costco run was in order. The Cattleman was going to save me a headache by delivering meat to my door. With two snaps of my a finger, my freezer was packed full of all kinds of red meat goodness.
What’s this? A special! My choice of another meat for free?!?
Chicken? No thanks. No taste.
Seafood? Hook a brother up!
And what’s in the seafood package? I’m glad you asked. Lobster tails? Giant Crablegs? Mahi Mahi? How many different kinds of shrimp?
Oh glorious day!!
Moron.
Idiot.
How in the world was I to know that two days later, new tenants would actually want to rent the front house. In a little over a week, I’ll be without a fridge.
Not one of my glowing moments.
Chez Cliff has been reduced to "Cliff’s Seafood & Steakhouse"
Please form a line to the right. It’ll be about a 30 minute wait.
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Comments
4 Responses to “The CattleMan”
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Do you deliver? I could use some prime rib from the Midwest
BM, I don’t think you’d want to pay the delivery charge.
Oh, no! Well, the only solution I see is to throw the biggest surf and turf party you can muster on an impromtu basis! Invite everyone you know, especially business-related people you could use a favor from now and then!
Trisha, that is an excellent idea! Then everyone could help me pack!
Actually I’ve discovered that steaks make an excellent Christmas present. I need to find a vegetarian, willing to store the meat. Then I’ll know it will be safe.