Rebuked
Posted on November 29, 2006 - Filed Under Philosophy |
**Continued from yesterday**
The spurn of people to move into the world of finance has produced a myriad of seminars to aid humanity in it’s quest to become rich.
One of these I nearly got sucked into.
During the height of the real-estate frenzy, commercials filled the airwaves of Southern California. Some man claimed "You don’t have to pay taxes!" All I had to do was attend his free seminar and he would "Repackage" me.
Within the converted sanctuary, the usher showed my two cohorts and I to our seats. Right up front, near the middle. It didn’t take long before it was standing room only.
When the organ fired up and the choir started singing, Ray Reynolds stormed the stage with the pentecostal zest of a man on a mission. Before long the audience, including myself, was clapping and singing.
Ray Reynolds opened his bible, affectionately called "Repackage America". The virtues and benefits of owning a Nevada Corporation were bestowed upon his flock. His details were very light, full of vagueness. When I looked confused by the lack of details, Pastor Ray rebuked me. The "demons of doubt" had plagued this young man and Pastor Ray was there to set me free.
As we broke into the third chorus of "Shall we gather at the river", Pastor Ray introduced us to Saul. Saul was a homeless man, living in a car in a junk yard. Using the techniques described in "Repackage America" Pastor Ray raised Saul from financial death. He was now living in the mansion that Bennifer would purchase a few years later. Pastor Ray proclaimed Saul had seen the light. His new name was now Paul.
And all the believers in the house said "AMEN!"
With a pounding fist on the pulpet, Pastor Ray screamed in a violent fury that he wanted to save us all from the valley of the shadow of financial death. All we had to do was pay $2499 - No, cross that out. All we had to do was pay $1499 - no, cross that out. For the unbelievable, "today only" price of $699 we could attend his Saturday seminar. At that seminar, he would get us on the right track and save our souls from financial damnation.
HALLELUJAH!
The congregation blitzkrieg-ed the stage: checkbooks waving, credit cards flying. A pair of panties were thrown on stage. The deacons nearly worked their fingers to the bone, punching in all the numbers on their credit card machines.
In the middle of this mayhem was yours truly. Oh yes, Pastor Ray had convinced me he could save my eternally damned financial soul. As I reached into my pocket, my wallet wasn’t there. Where was my check book?!?
Oh, that’s right. My checkbook and credit cards were locked away at home. I knew I would be stupid enough to purchase whatever Pastor Ray wanted to sell me. Even the financial prayer hanky, stained with Pastor Ray’s sweat, was beyond my means.
I left the revival, heart broken. But alas, fate shined down on me. One of the cohorts that came with me, a woman, decided to purchase the seminar. She offered to take copious notes. If I, along with 6 other people, would chip in a small amount of money we could get copies of everything. Why not? Financial heaven awaited!
The following Saturday, the seminar started at 1:00 p.m. When my cell phone chirped at 2:00 p.m, I was stunned.
Clifford: That’s all?
Woman: That’s everything.
Clifford: He didn’t at least give you a book?
Woman: He gave us this . . .
Clifford: This is just 20 xeroxed pages, stapled together. Most of it I can’t read!
Woman: Yep.
Clifford: There’s not a lot here.
Woman: All he did was read from this book.
Clifford: He mentions getting a "Dunn and Bradstreet" number. What is that? And how do we get one?
Woman: I don’t know.
Clifford: You didn’t ask?
Woman: We weren’t allowed to ask.
Clifford: Why not?
Woman: We weren’t allowed to ask questions. If we want to ask questions, we have to attend the second seminar. That costs $1299.
Clifford: A second seminar? Are you kidding me?
Woman: There’s a third one as well.
Clifford: So for $100, I’m getting a copy of a copy of 20 pages and nothing really tangible I can use.
What is scary: People actually attended the second and third seminar of "Repackage America".
As a final note for today’s blog entry, I asked Lord Google for the "Repackage America" website. I know Pastor Ray has one out there. However, the firewall where I work immediately sprang up and said this website was blocked because of questionable content.
You may interpret that anyway you wish.
If you liked that post, then try these...
Catalysts and Triggers on February 7th, 2007
"I could never do what you're doing.
Thought patterns on October 31st, 2006
During my trek down Investor Lane, I've been working to understand why people think the way they do.
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2 Responses to “Rebuked”
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Sigh, sounds like he’s copying that Kawasaki, or whatever his name is, who gets people to spend a lot of money on common sense information you can get anywhere for free and most people already know via common sense. He’s made a fortune talking about his “Fake Dad”.
Glad you didn’t get burned as bad the others. Someone once said there’s a sucker born every minute but it may actually be every second by now. LOL
Pastor Rays sermon was executed flawlessly. I read that salesmen, like car salesmen for instance, have a procedure that they follow in getting you to purchase a car.
Whatever that procedure was, Pastor Ray has mastered it to the Nth degree!