Welcome to Chez Cliff!

Based on Engineer X’s job search recommendation, I was brushing up on interviewing questions.  I thought I would share some of them with you.

Question:  Why are you interested in working for our company?
Clifford:  I’m not really.  I just need a paycheck.  What’s the name of this company again?

Question:  Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Clifford:  Retired.  Probably spending my time between France and the US.

Question:  If you were an animal, which one would you be?
Clifford:  A duck.  I love foie gras.

Question:  Do you have any plans to get an advanced degree?  A masters degree?
Clifford:  None.  I don’t believe a Masters degree would benefit my life.  However I agree with Henry Ford.  I can hire someone with a Masters degree if I need one.

Question:  How well do you work with others?  Do you prefer to work alone or in teams?
Clifford:  Teamwork is definitely essential.  I agree with the idea "Teamwork is everyone doing what I say."

Question:  What salary range are you seeking?
Clifford:  Actually I’m not seeking a salary range.  I’m looking to derive passive income via investments.

Question:  If you were hiring a job-seeker for this position, what qualities would you look for?
Clifford:  Someone who is completely risk-adverse and absolutely believes they need a paycheck in order to live.

I’m ready to be interviewed.

Now if I could only remember where I left my resume . . .

A question was asked the other day that I didn’t know the answer to.  "How much are the fees going to be when I sell the houses?"

I spent two hours at the Real Estate Agent’s office last week.  When he disclosed how much the fees were going to be, I passed out. 

ugh

The fees paid at the time of close of escrow are paid solely by the seller.  This I did not know.  I thought the buyer and the seller paid their respective agents somehow.  But apparently I’m smoking something funny.  These fees typically range between 5 and 6%.  Considering the value at which I’m selling these houses, that 6% is a huge chunk.  And it comes directly from the amount of profit I was going to make.  Upwards to 60% of the profit.

Ask me how happy I am about that.

I left his office, feeling queasy.  Then I snickered.  I must be an up and coming investor if I spent the better part of a Friday afternoon, talking money figures with my agent.

It’s option time.

Option 1:  I could ask the agent to reduce his fees which he’s willing to do.  But the buyers agent could still ask for his 3%.  Would the buyer’s agent take a comission cut?  Maybe, maybe not. 

Option 2:  I keep the houses.  The front house would be rented in addition to the back house.  I refinance my loan, pull the equity out that I need.  With that equity, I purchase the next project.  I redo that property, rent them out and do a true "flip".  Meaning I offload the next project as soon as it’s ready.  Take that money and run onto the next project. 

Option 3:  Move to Tibet and become a monk.

The second option obviously has more risk.  I’ll have more tenants to deal with.  I’ll be leveraged.  Of course I’ll have to pay several thousand to do the refi.  But the question that begs to be asked is "Would you spend a few thousand to keep tens of thousands?"  Most rational people would say yes.

Several of you have said that it’s better to keep the property and rent it out long term.  That’s the direction I’m leaning towards now.

I’m tossing this question out there:  Does anyone see anything that I may have missed with this idea? 

Did you ever have one of those days where your alarm sounds and you just don’t want to get up?

I had one of those recently.  My life as of late has been burning from both ends of the candle.  Finally, it caught up with me.  Rest was required.

It was almost 9:30 before my brain convinced my mortal coil to get out of bed.  Feeling completely rested, I danced into the the hair infested bathroom Ferris Bueller style.  It was time to take the day by the horns!

Hair brush in hand, I slid across the floor of the living room.  With my new found microphone, my mouth stopped short of singing out "Just take those old records off the shelf-"

"Excuse me?"

I stopped cold.  There was a man’s voice behind me.  Let me share this with you: it’s hard to be threatening or intimidating when you’re in nothing more than a t-shirt and underoos.  I decided to play it cool.

I turned around, humiliated.  "Can I help you?"

Strange Man:  "Yes, the Real Estate Agent told me I could come by and see the houses."
Clifford:  "Um . . .  yeah . . .  the doors were locked right?"
Strange Man:  "Yeah but I have the remote to get in."
Clifford:  "Oh . . . well please feel free to look around I guess."
SM:  "I’m sorry but the Real Estate Agent told me you wouldn’t be here.  He said you normally work during the day."
Clifford:  "Normally I do.  But today was my day off.  You’ll have to excuse me but I have to get dressed now.  This is a bit awkward."

Come to find out, Strange Man actually has a client who is looking for two houses on a lot.  One house for her, one house for her daughter and her boyfriend.  They are coming back this weekend during the Open House.

Open House?  What Open House?  This weekend?

It appears that the Real Estate Agent and I have to work on our communication skills.

There are two positives to all this.  First, Strange Man really liked the houses.  Second, I’m glad it wasn’t Cookie Monster who was standing in the living room.

Cookie Monster disappeared for a while.  I guess her and her "date" (IE the neighbor) have made up.

It was 5:30 in the morning on trash day.  As is my chore, the four bins were being pushed out into the street.  Almost on cue, Cookie Monster came out from behind the wall separating my yard from the neighbors.  Scared me to death.

Cookie Monster:  Hey Cliff!  Have your houses been on the market long?
Clifford (startled):  Putain de merde!  You scared me!
CM:  I’m being named Real Estate Agent of the week for
the second time this year.  I’m really moving property.  I’ve got 15 houses right now.  I am getting what we’re asking for them.  Do you think
you’ll get what you’re asking for?
Clifford:  Yes I do.
CM:  I’m meeting with the realtor board today.  They want to find
out what I’m doing different to sell real estate.  Did you get your property appraised before selling?
Clifford:  Yes I did.
CM:  When I’m done with the realtor board, I’m heading over to the
Appraiser’s office.  The board wants me to justify some of my prices on
properties.  They know me over there on a first name basis.  Do you
know what the comps are in this area?
Clifford:  I do, actually.
CM:  I’m listing a house for $2.2 million in North Long Beach.  If I get it, all those people up there will thank me.  That’s normally the area I like to work in.  It’s where I grew up.  I know all the people up there.  I’ll say a prayer for you.

It’s nice to know that in all that jumbled mess, some little nugget of goodness was there.

Thanks to Paty for the Cookie Monster pic.

"Change your thoughts and you change your world." – Norman Vincent Peale

News has come down the pipeline.  In my workplace, the "powers to be" are merging two sites into one.  Site A, where I work, is being taken over by site B.  For those of you who have worked in corporate america this usually means layoffs are coming.

Normally I wouldn’t care.  This situation is different however.  I’ve always had this unique niche to fill, whereas I’m the only person who knows how to generate the Red TPS Reports.  Well, the RED TPS Reports are being phased out for the Blue TPS Reports.  And Site B has 5 people who are fully trained in the Blue Reports.

During a conversation the other day, someone mentioned tuning up the resumes.  Possibly jumping on Monster.com or maybe Dice.com.  This brought back the nightmare I experienced as a child.  It was the day I experienced orange juice in my mouth after brushing my teeth. 

I’ve come so far since last year.  Hunting for another job feels like I’m taking a step backwards.  Moving backwards is contradictory to me.  I’ve spent my entire life looking forward.  This has served me well.

While I realize there is a long ways between today and the consolidation, I am treating this as very real.  I’m going to work on increase my investing through some other channels that I’m exploring.

Of course I’ll report back what I learn.

The most important item I must do is set real hard objectives for myself.  This means setting real numbers to paper with real deadlines.