In the millions
Posted on August 7, 2006 - Filed Under Rant |
One of the disadvantages of having dark counter-tops is that you can’t really see anything that happens to be of a dark color.
After cutting up my tasty meat purchases, I celebrated by having a nice espresso in the living room. When I returned 20 minutes later, the counter looked like it was moving. I knew I didn’t drop LSD or mushrooms. Getting my eyes level with the counter revealed the problem.
Ants. Of the genus "killus-on-sightus".
They were everywhere.
It seems one drop of meat juice fell onto the counter. The ants, somehow, sensed this and assaulted my counter top with the aggressiveness of pit bulls.
Ugh.
I hate multi-legged creatures. If it has more legs than a dog, I kill it. There’s no discrimination at Chez Cliff. They all die. Spiders, flies, moths . . . you name it. I’ve been known to waste an entire can of Raid on a roach that tried to steal my Twinkies. Friends have wrestled me to the ground, trying to get me to stop. I keep on spraying anyway. After all, I have to make sure the little thief is dead.
Yes, I have major bug issues. I don’t take any chances. After all, ants can kill and eat people. I know what you’re saying: "Relax Cliff, those ants are only in Africa."
Then what are African Killer bees doing in Southern California? On vacation?
Let’s get back on topic before I get all OCD on everyone.
The timing of the ants is especially bad whereas I’m planning on putting the houses up for sale. Contrary to popular belief, perspective buyers don’t want to enter the home and see 1,432,657 ants on the counter top.
The only thing I’ve found that has worked is the liquid ant bait. For some reason, ants just love this stuff. Maybe it’s the heat and they’re looking for sources of water. Or maybe they’re just stupid.
I don’t know and I don’t care.
The directions say that one ant will take the poison back to the nest and feed 8 other ants. After 3 or 4 days, the poison will kill any ant that has eaten it. This means that thousands will die. Antocide. But why does it take 3 or 4 days for the poison to kill an ant? After all, those dudes are pretty tiny. But if it works, who am I to complain?
Until then, bottoms up boys! Drinks are on me!
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3 Responses to “In the millions”
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Where do you buy this liquid ant killer? (Besides online). I’ve used Clorox - multipurpose cleaner w/bleach. It does kill them instantly but they don’t take any poison back to their nest.
Hey Paty,
Actually I purchased it at Lowes. So far, it works great. After a few days the kitchen ants are no longer coming back. Last Thursday, I had another squad of scouts in the shower. I put one trap in there and a few days later, gone. That $5 for the package was well spent!
Get some more, and I’ll put them under the house when I come over.