o you remember my article titled “Customer Service”? The article talks about, or spells out, the fact that Home Depot has almost no customer service. Zero.
After the arrival of my washer and dryer, I needed several items before they could become operational. My short list of items, I was told, could easily be found at the “Home Depot”. Plus, as well as we all know, there is a Home Depot only a few minutes away from my house.
I arrived at the Depot to find it deserted. Yes, there were customers wandering around with that lost look in their eyes. However all of the hired help was missing. Believe me I looked! That is until over the loud-speaker I heard “All sales representatives and stock personnel report to the training room.”
“Who has training in the middle of the flipping day? This is their busiest time!” I said out-loud. I could feel the anger starting to percolate inside of me. My orange cart started to shimmy as the perpetual “one wheel” went sideways and ceased to function.
Merde.
I wandered over to the appliances, thinking that what I needed would be located there. After all, these were appliances that I’m hooking up so the stuff I needed should be located in the appliance section.
Bzzzt! Wrong answer!!
The one Home Depot employee on the floor, who doesn’t speak English, pointed to the garden section when I asked him where the wash machine hoses were. Thinking he was confused I said “No, not a garden hose. A washing machine hose . . . for a washing machine . . . .” He emphatically pointed his finger at the garden section and gave me a dirty scowl.
Well that little employee was right. The hoses for the wash machines were conveniently located with the garden hoses in the garden section. Now that makes perfectly logical sense! “Hey, I need some window cleaner. Well, it must be in the lumber section because you make the frames for windows out of wood!”
And, of course, they had the wrong hose. That’s right. The wrong hose. How do you get a simple hose wrong? Let’s ask Home Depot!
Home Depot: "We try to anticipate our customer’s needs and then ignore them."
That’s right! Those morons only (and I mean ONLY) had those stupid ‘Y’ shaped hoses that combine the hot and cold water (for my convenience) into one hose going into my wash machine.
I didn’t feel like grunting a question at “english-less” employee so I just left. Knowing my luck, he would have pointed me to the “EXIT” sign which is where I should have gone in the first place.
Into my car I went. Within minutes, I was at Lowe’s. Surely they must have what I wanted.
Well, the Wal-Mart greeter met me at the door. That’s right. Lowe’s is borrowing ideas from Wal-Marts and they now have people that greet you at the door. He kindly steered me to the aisle where he thought my treasures might be. At that location, I found this mole-looking man. I explained to him what I was looking for. His response to me was astounding.
“I just got a used washer and dryer myself and I need all those things too. So let’s go get them.” He said from behind his coke bottle glasses. He turned and scurried off.
As I picked up my jaw from the floor, I saw in big white letters on the back of his cassock “CUSTOMER SERVICE”.
I smiled and said “Now that’s what I’m talking about!” Then I noticed that every single employee had “Customer Service” on their cassocks. Then I realized that “Hey, there are employees!” But the revelations didn’t stop there. I almost hit overload when I realized that the employees were actually helping the customers!
I said to Mole-Man, “I think it’s great that you guys actually help your customers.”
He gave me that weird “duh” look and said “Why wouldn’t we?”
I triumphantly smiled and said “Yes, that is an excellent question!”
Fifteen minutes later, I was standing in my wash room with only one tiny question on my mind.
“How in the name of all that is holy do I hook these things up?”
To be continued . . .
