Simple Directions
Posted on December 5, 2005 - Filed Under Rant |
wist of fate. It appears that in SoCal, there was a big USC and UCLA game. I don’t follow sports so this little fact escaped me.
This didn’t escape the attention of this woman, who lives in Hollywood. For some reason, she determined that her tv was too small and that she needed a bigger one. In following what so many others have done, she got onto craigslist.org and began her search for a replacement. This was what brought her to my door.
I heard her voice on my cell phone. If you can hear Minnie Mouse right now, that’s her.
She was going to be late, which was fine. I didn’t have any plans and I had already eaten this great dinner, which I’ll talk about at another time. I digress. What concerned me was that this woman had a Minnie Mouse voice. Now I realize that Mike Tyson has the ultimate sissy voice for someone of his size. Voices can be misleading. However this voice was just way, way too tiny and my tv weighs 120 lbs.
Clifford: "Do you have a friend with you?"
Minnie: "Yes, we’re coming down."
Excellent.
About 45 minutes later, I heard a knock at the door. After opening it, I saw Minnie standing in front of me. I think she barely topped 4′10" (147 cm). Her female friend came in at a slick 5′2" (157 cm). Minnie pointed to her vehicle of transportation, which was a Geo Tracker. My first thought "Wow. Minnie drives a mini with her other mini friend. Why me?"
She was impressed with the tv. Explaining to me the big USC game, she cradled the remote like some kind of lost child. In her mind, she already had the tv setup and was underneath a blanket with her soda and chips. Go Minnie!
With utter frustration, I knocked on the handyman’s door. There was no way that Minnie or her friend were going to get that tv into the back of her mini truck. Handyman was pleasant, as usual, and agreed to help me load the tv. After his tv show was done. This meant I had to spend 20 minutes, entertaining the my new guests. That was hard because all they do is watch tv. I can’t remember the last time I watched tv. I started saying stuff like "Remember on that one episode of the A-Team . . . "
Finally the tv was loaded and they were on their way.
I don’t get it. In my ad, I specifically point out that the tv is big, bulky and that I would help load it . . . but the key word is "help" . . . I refuse to screw up my back again but Minnie and her tiny friend couldn’t do it.
Anyway, it’s finished.
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