October 6th
Posted on October 6, 2005 - Filed Under Rant |
I stood in front of my houses yesterday (Wednesday) and surveyed all the new "stuff" that has appeared on the lawn. No, the tenants have not gone on a massive shopping spree but they have decided to start moving their "stuff" outside, including a fully stocked weight bench. A really nice cherry dining room table has been sitting outside for a week. Yes, these people take really good care of their "stuff".
My first thought in seeing all this was, "There is no way these people will be getting out of here tomorrow. None. There’s too much "stuff"! Unless every single friend and family member helped out, there is no way this amount of "stuff" could disappear in one day. None."
Saddened, I made my way to the back house to continue my clean up efforts. Suddenly, the air was pierced by this very loud Mexican mariachi band music. I said "What is that?" Well, this guy pulled up driving a very large white van.
YES!
Do a little dance
Make a little love
Get down tonight!
I entered the second house, happy that progress was being made. Soon, this white van would be filled with "stuff" that would disappear and never been seen by my blue eyes. Excellent!
In the kitchen, I was working on repairing the hood above the stove so I had a unobstructed view of the driveway and the white van. First, the tenants gave the man a beer. I guess beer is the universal lubricant for working. Fine. Then the man loaded some weights from the weight bench into his van. Then the bar for the weights. Then the little bench. Then he left.
What?!? Where’s he going?!?!
I ran up into the front yard in complete disbelief. Surely he had packed more "stuff" in that van . . . I just didn’t see it. Yeah, that’s it! I just didn’t see it.
WRONG!
The only "stuff" that guy took was the weight bench. Suddenly my over-activate imagination swung into gear.
Weight Bench Guy "Hey, can I store this weight bench at your place? Like a typical idiot, I bought this thing so I could exercise and lose my fat gut. But what I’d really like to do is sit around and drink beer like your husband and son do."
Mean Grandma "Sure, no problem. You can store your "stuff" at our place. It will blend in with all the other "stuff" that we’re storing right now."
WBM "Thanks Mean Grandma! Can I have a beer now? I have no job so I can’t buy my own beer."
MG "Sure. Just talk to my lazy son, 40 ouncer, in the back yard. He’s busy shining his bicycle and listening to gangster rap music."
There’s no way these people are moving out by Thursday. None.
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Cliff,
thanks for keeping the XXX family up to date on your adventures. It reminds of the times when I purchased my first mansion and how much effort it was to build the helipad.
Just a quick reminder: The TPS reports are due tomorrow! Don’t forget. Keep up the good work. Renovating your house, that is.