Customer Service
Posted on August 29, 2005 - Filed Under Housing |
Regarding the locks, today was my day. I stopped completely because I wasn’t looking forward to replacing, in total 8 locks on 2 doors. Let’s be realistic, who has 4 locks per door? Removing the grotesque screen doors will eliminate 4 locks. This leaves only the locks on the inside door. This cuts that number from 8 to four. I like that math better.
I had a chance to meet the man who brought Costco to Canada. He told me "For any business to succeed, they must meet two of the following three criteria: 1. Phenomenal Customer Service; 2. Excellent product selection; 3. Cheapest prices possible." My response was "So Costco is about products and prices." to which he responded "Yes."
After utilizing the Internet, I discovered that Schlage makes home locks. I thought about getting some locks from Brinks until I read that Schlage makes the locks used in prisons. I thought to myself "If it’s good enough to keep murderers, rapists and pick-pockets locked up, it’s good enough for me!"
I had picked out my locks at Home Depot (HD). A fellow cubicle inmate told me that HD can re-do the locks so that they all work with the same key. Armed with my $50 coupon, I was ready to get the locks changed and get them on the door. I found the guy in the lock section and asked him about getting the locks "re-keyed".
Cliff: Excuse me sir, I’d like to get these locks to work with the same key.
Minimum Wage Worker (MWW): Alright . . . . (He pauses for 10 seconds)
Cliff (wondering): Do you do that?
MWW: Nope.
Cliff (Irritated): Who does?
MWW: The key guy
Cliff: Where is the key guy?
MWW: Up front.
Cliff: "Up front" is a little vague. Where up front?
MWW: Where else? The Tool Section.
Cliff (reads name tag): Thank you Paul. You’ve been extremely helpful and have made my Home Depot experience a true pleasure.
Pinhead.
I go to the Tool Section where I find the key guy, who was talking on the phone. A young lad of perhaps 24 years, his body language seemed intent on the phone call. I approached him, holding my locks and patiently waiting. I know at some point, he’ll put down the phone and attend to his customer. As I kind of zone out, my ears suddenly became super sensitive to the sounds around me, including his conversation.
Minimum Wage Worker 2 (MWW2): You looked so hot in that mini skirt. Oh yeah. After a few drinks, I couldn’t keep my hands off you. I know, I know but I couldn’t help it. I was so horny and you were so hot. Yeah, I didn’t care about that.
Cliff (to myself): You’ve got to be kidding me. Someone shoot me now.
MWW2 (puts the phone off to the side of his head): Can I help you?
Cliff (irritated): I need these locks re-keyed to work with the same key.
MWW2 (finds a piece of paper and a pen): What’s your name and number?
Cliff: Why?
MWW2: So I can call you tomorrow when I got the locks done.
Cliff: How long does it take?
MWW2: About 15 minutes.
Cliff: And you can’t do it now? I know you’re extremely busy but I’d like to get this done tonight. Your store doesn’t close for another hour.
MWW2 (to the phone): Yeah baby, I’ll call you back. I gotta work.
Cliff (to myself): Imagine that.
Pinhead.
Great Selection.
Reasonable Prices.
No Customer Service.
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Tu m’as fait vraiment rire Clifford avec tes aventures au magasin de bricolage !
C’est tellement imagé ce que tu as décris !