Lord of the Flies
Posted on May 15, 2008 - Filed Under Rant
Every day this week, between 30 and 50 flies have greeted me when returning home. Before no flies existed in my house. As of this last Monday that all changed.
This isn’t the first time I‘ve dealt with uninvited guests.
The flies gather at either the bathroom window or the right front window. No place else. Committing the shameless murder of dozens of flies, or flyocide, is at least efficient. But it is not all fun and games. Someone has to pick up their bodies.
To solve the problem, determine the cause.
One of three explanations as to how this many flies entered the house.
- My mom is convinced the flies are entering a tiny hole under the bathroom sink, connecting the outside world to my bathroom cabinet. For some reason, I can’t imagine over 100 flies entering my house, in a conga line through this hole.
- The homeless dude in the alley is actually Moses, sending a plague on my house. I tend to resist this because (a) I’m not a Pharaoh (b) if some dude threw a stick on the ground and it turned into a snake, I would do whatever the mofo said.
- Something icky crawled under the house and died.
Number 3 wins!
There’s a couple of options.
- Hire a midget to explore the very cramped space under the house, looking for icky dead thing.
- Superglue suction cups to an Iguana and attach him to the window. Bon appetit!
- Drink wine out of a box, watch Star Trek.
I envision the Real Estate Agent, showing the house to some perspective buyers. He opens the door, suddenly 50 flies descend upon him like a bunch of drunken frat boys on a stripper.
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Time to take a fast train
Posted on May 14, 2008 - Filed Under Personal
The Gaslamp district of San Diego is laid out like a PacMan maze. Block after block, turn after turn no matter where you look there’s a restaurant.
Not just any restaurant. No, these restaurants are the fine and refined best that San Diego has to offer. In order to even be considered for dining, these places need to have as a standard “Zagat Rated” hanging in front of their establishment. But it doesn’t stop there: every positive article, written in “Fine Dining” or the San Diego Tribue must be posted as well. One place was found without either: McDonalds. But hanging dutifully in the window was the article, proclaiming McDonald’s coffee better than Starbucks.
Not bad for a clown.
This maze of restaurants is conveniently located at the end of the Amtrak line, the Santa Fe train station. A 30 minute drive from my house puts me inside the train. After all, with gas breaching $4/gallon the train ticket to San Diego is now cost effective. With decent public transportation, a traveler can easily get around without having to worry about parking.
With that being said: San Diego is now designated as one of my haunts, some place where I can escape for a day. Or two. Captain Kirk already helped me once, why not again?
Unfortunately on this last trip, my parents don’t share my culinary sense of adventure in trying new places. We ate at the “comfort food” places, which was fine.
It’s only two hours away from Chez Cliff.
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Congratulations to .
Mortal Coil on April 14th, 2007
There are certain phone calls you do not want to get.
Brain Mud
Posted on May 13, 2008 - Filed Under Business
Taking the day off.
After a brief stint in San Diego with the parents, I’m exhausted. Of course, spending two and a half weeks on the couch didn’t help matters much. Six foot dude + 5 foot couch = sleeping fetal syndrome
Dementia must residing in my head. All my thoughts end with vision of peas.
Until tomorrow.
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'Tis the season on November 26th, 2007
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Increasing Property Value on November 7th, 2007
The appraiser is coming soon.
Cost-Benefit Ratio
Posted on May 12, 2008 - Filed Under Housing
My dad has been very instrumental in finishing all the little remainder items on the back house.
Last fall, my mom suggested I pay for my dad to fly out to California and assist finish the work on the houses. At the time, the contractor and electrician were working full-on to finish the front house. My thought: “A $400 ticket could be used to pay the electrician to get a few more things done.”
With my parents visiting, my dad has been working right along on finishing up these remaining projects. Based on my previous experience, I punched up some numbers.
| ITEM | Hired Help | Dad Power |
|---|---|---|
| Fridge Waterline Hookup | $200 | $45 |
| Vanity Mirror Light | $50 | $15 |
| Bathroom Vent and Light | $150 | $45 |
| Range Hood | $200 | Free |
| Broken Window Replacement | $125 | $25 |
| Window Screen Installation | $40 | $2 |
| Total | $765 | $132 |
Suddenly the $400 ticket seems like a good investment.
With all fairness, the Hired Help doesn’t eat a Chez Cliff like dad does. Probably $3 could be added for each task to cover the cost of the meal.
Steak au poivre with rice jayel
Maple Glazed Pork Tenderloin, wrapped in bacon
Baked Cod, basted in soy, ginger and lemon sauce
Coq au Vin
And the beat goes on . . .
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Lady Fortune has a weird, if not impeccable sense of timing.
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Resident Search
Posted on May 8, 2008 - Filed Under Business
For Property #1, the front tenants have moved out. The search for new ones has been underway. This topic has been hashed and rehashed on this site.
Craigslist Ad
Part of Googles assimilation of my life entails using Google Docs. Each rental has its own “Craigslist” posting saved in a separate Google Doc. Rather handy. Rather than re-invent the ad, a simple “cut and paste” from my Google Docs into Craiglist and the ad is posted. Total time: 3 seconds.
Playing with Numbers
I decided to ask for a little more rent on the property. The price was bumped up $100 and a few phone calls came through. Somewhere (and I can’t remember where), this article explained that people perceive 21,999 to be less than 21,000 because of the zeros. The next time the Craiglist ad was run, the asking rent was decreased $25 to make it an odd number. Many more phone calls.
Time Management
Being stood up has become rather annoying. My schedule is hectic enough but to have people flake out on appointments has become irritating. My arrival time is usually 15 minutes before the appointment. Then wait for at least 30 minutes because in Los Angeles, traffic is problematic. Take into account the 15 minutes to drive to the house, 15 minutes to drive back, an hour of my day was wasted. Do this 3 or 4 times per week and it gets aggravating.
One 30-second phone call: Hi is this Cliff? Hi Cliff, this is Broomhilda and I was suppose to meet you today at 4 o’clock. Yeah I can’t make it. Sorry about that. Have a good day!
After my appointments this week, I’m going to setup a time whereas I will be at the property on a certain day for 1 hour. Come during that hour. Do this a few days a week.
Some people fail to understand that making appointments requires sacrifices on both parties. If a potential “lookie loo” can only meet at 1:15 on Wednesday and nothing else for the next week is open . . . then they probably aren’t that serious anyway. After all, if they only have 5 minutes to glance at a property before they “must” be someplace else then moving is not their highest priority.
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